Tuesday, January 10, 2012

It's Me Again.

Mmmhhh, it's nice to be back. It's been a crazy 3 months. Bryant's deployment, Jenny's wedding, and me finishing up my last semester as a freshman. Now sitting in my comfy bed, my mind is filled with what to tell you. So I left you on October 23rd. So here goes. On November 4th I made a road trip to Martin, TN to visit one of my team members from my Alaska trip. I got to meet her circle of friends, then leave to go and meet up with 3 of our boy teammates at Union University. We saw Jon Foreman in concert and had a great time rekindling our Alaskan love for one another. Oh and I got my second tattoo. Risky I know, but I thought long and hard about it. The word you ask? Hephzibah. It is not uncommon for husbands and wives to have pet names for each other. Terms of endearment. Words that are very exclusive and private. Terms which would be inappropriate for anyone else to use. So also does God, for us His bride, the church. He has a word which expresses the tenderness of His love for us. It is "Hephzibah," which means, "my delight is in her." The love that God has to His bride, the church, gives Him delight. I got it on my right wrist, the one I use the most.

It may seem like a foolish tattoo to most people but it embodies my biggest fear. That Christ actually takes delight in me. Little, unfaithful, unworthy me. I fear that vulnerability with Christ so much. I overcame a lot of it in Alaska, but it's a daily struggle. So it's there to remind me that He's still there when everyone leaves, He's there when I run away to hind myself, and He's there when my brokenness needs to crawl up in His lap and cry. Caught on yet? Throughout my life I've dealt with high highs and low lows, and a false guilt from it. It's something that the grace of God is big enough to cover.

Earlier in my blog, I told you about my newly discovered truth in Christianity. You'd think growing up in a house the attended church, sent me on mission trips, and encouraged my growth that I'd know the lies NOT to believe. I'd been believing all of these lies of religion and not Jesus growing up, and it's like it finally clicked. So on December 22nd, I got dunked for the second time, in front of the people closest to me. And it was in a horse trough. I love the South. It was a great time for fellowship and for me to do it this time for God, not for the "suppose to" thing.

Now, I've just started my 4th semester at my local community college and am looking forward to the transfer to a new school in a year from now. Thinking it's gonna be Auburn, WAR EAGLE, but I've got to look at other options. I look back on this year of 2011 and can already see so many changes in my walk with Christ, view of Him, relationships all around me, and the way I live my life. It's comforting to know that i don't have to live for anyone but Christ. One thing that helped was I turned my consint "I Love You's" to "I Love You Too's". Because it's finished. Religion say's DO, but Jesus say's DONE. Hoepfully this catched you up a little but on my life. My new years resolution is to try and stop being a somebody, but letting the Ultimate Somebody shine through me.

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