Thursday, September 20, 2012

He Is Faithful

Ahhhh, after months of being consumed in my busy life, I'm finally sitting down to blog, mainly to catch myself up with what God has done, but to allow you to join in on the ride. I love having these times to write out more details to my walk. It keeps me focused on the journey. OK, so where do I start....

I'll start with my summer plans. After living in Alaska last summer there is nothing more I wanted to do than to go back. A part of my heart is still there, but earlier in January I knew that this was not my summer to go back. I was heartbroken, but because I wanted to be in God's Will completely, I had a peace about it. I started looking more into NAMB again. I prayed for certain things and I applied for a spot in Montana. I prayed for months and kept getting an uneasy feeling about it. Well in early spring my family got the news that my oldest brother would be having to serve 8 months for the Air Force. I knew I had to step in and be the helper this summer for my sweet sister-in-law. So I emailed NAMB and told them I couldn't go to Montana after I'd be accepted. A few weeks down the road I found out that things weren't discussed as much as I thought they were and a girl from their church picked up the hours that she needed help. So at this point I'm questioning what I'm going to do this summer. I knew that there was no way God wanted me to go back and work Dawson Day Camps. I worked them every summer through high school and knew He had to have bigger and better things for me. Oh how He likes to humble His children. He did just that. You are looking at Dawson's oldest girl staffer for this summer! Yay? I knew I had tried ever other avenue so I must be here for a reason. Right again. I could go on about the faithfulness God showed me throughout this summer, but I had an amazing summer pouring into Dawson kids, but they mostly poured into me.

I will have to say a highlight to my summer was a reunion beach trip with my wonderful Alaskan team. Once again, God doesn't stop the work He has started in you. Through that trip He overjoyed me with the delight of Him continuing to reveal that daily He is renewing my mind to be more like that of Christ. I could talk for days about this, but here's our family photo minus Garrett (Swiss) and Joshua (Motz), plus random owner of this ice cream shop on St. George Island.

Let's back up to March. In March I decided that I wanted to transfer out of Jeff State in the fall. One college was on my mind; Samford. I applied, got in, and was so ready to start! I knew I was a Bulldog! Well one day at the end of April I came down to my parents room and they were pacing around the room and talking to me about things. They started to tell me that they both felt like I really needed to think about Samford. Through lots of talking they both said they felt uneasy about it. Why? They didn't know. So randomly my mom asks if I had looked at the University of Montevallo. I was so angry that she would even ask me such a thing. She knew I was set on Samford. Out of resentment I asked for their credit card and I'd send my transcript in. I think smoke was coming from my ears. I was trying the whole "don't sin in your anger" thing, which is hard, so I decided to be silent for the whole day (crazy I know!) in order to process things. I knew that if UM was where I was supposed to go that the Lord would have to change my heart.

5 hours later I sat at the top of the stairs in almost tears as I told my parents UM was my college. Expecting an "I told you so" I was surprised that my dad was taken back by my decision. It's like for the first time it had hit him that I actually love his advice and place it so much higher than anyone else's. So on May 1, my 20th birthday, we drove down to Montevallo and took a tour. During my tour I just knew I was supposed to go here. I couldn't tell you why, but My Father was putting a desire in my heart for this campus that had never been there. I loved it, was accepted, and it was final! I'M A FALCON! Upon applying for housing I had many options. I chose to live in Main. A freshmen girls dorm. People ask why when I tell them. I had my reasons. I wanted to use my influence with 18 year old girls. So starting in May I began praying for my roommate and suite mates. The Lord provided 3 wonderful girls that I have bonded with. I continue to see His faithfulness in the little things. 

Now, I was pouring out myself in my living situation so where was I going to be filled? I found an on campus ministry called Ecclesia real quick and plugged right in. Through it I'm also in a upperclassmen girls bible study. That could take up another page alone, but let me just ensure you that the Lord has brought me to my knees with those girls. The things we've discussed have brought me closer to the heart of God. Just last night, our simple 8pm bible study turned into a 5 hours Christ-fill, fruit making, heart beckoning conversation! Oh praise God for fellow sisters that desire the face of God! The Lord has just shown off His beauty by providing me such a loving group of Godly girls to fellowship with. 

I also decided since Montevallo would be my school, I'd rush. I went into it with a very open mind and God brought me to the sisterhood for me. I'm a Phi Mu and looking forward to all the great things this year is going to hold for all of us. I'm the oldest new member with has advantages, but I'm grateful for the opportunity to grow even more as I'm surrounded by great ladies. 

So that's been my life for the past few months. I'm really liking it here. I'm a little later in starting my journey into college, but I'm in God's timing and that's all the assurance I need. More than ever I'm pouring myself out. Yes, the pictures are great and I can whip up an awesome Facebook status, but it's not always the way it looks. I'm really learning to study and that's no fun. I tell the girls on my hall which refer to me as the "hall mom", that I feel like the 30 year old going back to school. I've had a taste of college and I know that if you don't do the work and fight, you won't get the grade. 

Overall it's been great. But if we're being honest, I've had days when I've felt like nothing more than just another unrighteous child begging for mercy at the feet of God. When I feel emotionally drained, physically tired, or just in a bad mood, my mind tends to think that God is bringing this on me. How do I realize that God wants me to beckon to Him when I am weary?  That goes along with the whole transforming of the mind thing. So this is a season that I'm learning to cling to Him and not run. He isn't mad at me. I have to keep telling myself that when the voice of Satan comes into play. I am fighting from victory, not for it. I heard a good analogy the other day. Remember the kid in middle school that was older than you and always picked on you. He was in the same grade as your brother. They both played football and because your brother was better than him the boy instantly hated you? Yeah. So that's how Satan attacks us. We look like the one who shamed him and has victory over him and that's why we are under attack. Good one, I know. I'm praying in expectation that the Lord is going to do more mighty things this year in and through me. Amen. Thanks for listening.

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