Yesterday marked the 2 week point of my journey. I have never been more spiritually challenged in my whole life. I'm learning about some of the struggles that I've buried so dip within me, that I had forgotten about them hindering my walk with Christ. I'm trying to be more real and transparent, so here goes. I have look back, into the years and seen that I have a hard time accepting my Heavenly Fathers unconditional love, therefore trying to sign up for everything at church and be the most involved person I could be in order to earn Christ's love. Hey Lindsey, guess what? You can't. You can't earn or loose His love. Daily I find myself asking for brokenness and humility. I have such a desire for Christ's heart. I thirst for more ("Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Matthew 5:6). More of His Word, more of Him in my life, just more of God.
I love my home, back in Alabama. I miss it. Of course I do. Especially today on Father's Day. But this week it hit me that up here, I feel at home. I feel loved by the team, Pastor Mark, this small church in the middle of Alaska, and the Lord. Right now as we all sit in the sanctuary I feel surrounded my family. Everyone is asleep taking naps except me and I couldn't feel anymore blessed. We haven't even started camp yet and we're worn out. So in times like this I ask God for His strength. A strength that passes all understanding. After everyone left from church this morning, the team went down stairs to fix lunch. Before we "chowed down" we held hands to say grace and it was as if I was holding onto two of my new brothers. It was a God moment. As if God gave them to me as a gift, which I don't second guess because all of these people have been gifts to my heart and soul.
Lord, feed me. Feed me with Your word. I so delight in You and pray that You continue this amazing work within me, allowing me to strip away all rotten parts. After calls back home I can already feel Your grace and mercy as I have come to your throne in request. ("Let us therefore draw near with boldness unto the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy, and may find grace to help us in time of need." Hebrews 4:16) I ask for your protection over this team. We will not break under any circumstance. We stand firm in You Father. Help us to be most satisfied in You as we say NO to the world and seek after Your face. I pray for continued unity among the team and with You Father. We honor You.