Monday, November 12, 2012

Dear Franny.

Dear Franny, I wonder what you have been doing in heaven for 3 weeks now. I can only imagine the great delight you are finding there. Your every desire is being fulfilled. Oh how I long for heaven. At your funeral, we played "I Can Only Imagine" by MercyMe. I can't help but cry in joy in the fact that you are dancing in fields of splendor, in awe of God in His fullness. I can picture you now how you worshiped. It was so pure, not for show, only for your Father.

Last November I went to "Secret Church" and it was on suffering and death. Thank God for it because it's helped me cope with you not being here. Genie, Molly, Abbie, Hallie, and I are so sad to have lost you. We are all still mourning and taking day by day. I just want to see you and I know that's so selfish, but I'm pretty sure Jesus understands. Sitting in my dorm, I look around and you are in 3/4 of them. Your prefect hair that I was always jealous of, your sweet smile, but most of all I remember your hugs. The way you embraced people. You had a version of the "Mamma Jill" hug. You know the one that you could feel in your toes. It's made the world stop being so crazy for just those few seconds. I miss that. I miss our talks about our longing for revival and our passion to just serve Jesus. 

Life will not be the same without you. I delight in the confidence that we all have about where you now reside. Through your death many people came to a greater understanding of just how short life is. You have moved hearts to turn to the Lord. Christ is being glorified. I know you would have wanted that. I will leave you with this. At my sister's wedding rehearsal dinner I read a poem by e.e. cummings. As I came across it last night it brought me to tears because it is so true of our group of girls, now young ladies. I love you for eternity and you will always be my best friend.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
                                                      i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

-e.e. cummings

1 comment:

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